It’s January 26 again, the 76th time since independence, the day we all suddenly remember we’re patriotic. We stand for the anthem, cheer the parade, and then hurry back to cutting queues, dodging taxes, and blaming “the system.” The Republic Day parade dazzles us with cultural floats and fighter jets, perfectly representing our love for shiny exteriors while conveniently ignoring the rust inside. Welcome to the world’s largest democracy, where “for the people, by the people” often feels more like “for the powerful, by the perpetually confused.”

The Indian Constitution, a masterpiece of dreams and ideals, is either quoted out of context or misquoted altogether—actually read? Almost never! Words like justice, liberty, and equality sparkle in the Preamble but act more like optional suggestions than actual rules. Justice? Absolutely, if your pockets are deep enough. Liberty? Only if your opinion goes viral for the right reasons. Equality? That’s the first thing to vanish when caste, gender, or religion make an appearance. Somehow, even after 100+ amendments, defining “minority” remains elusive—yet, there’s a whole Minority Commission! Honestly, Rahul Gandhi waving a red book of blank pages and calling it the Indian Constitution wouldn’t even raise eyebrows at this point. 

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The constitutional color blindness—a unique condition where people can enthusiastically quote Articles 25 to 28 about religious freedom but conveniently develop selective amnesia when it comes to Article 44. You know, the one about the Uniform Civil Code that’s been sitting in the Directive Principles section for decades, gathering dust while politicians play ping-pong with it for votes. Maybe it’s time for a new pair of glasses, one that helps them see all articles equally? 

Nevertheless, the Republic Day parade is a grand spectacle. Tanks rumble, fighter jets roar, and we clap on cue, conveniently forgetting that many soldiers’ families might be struggling to make ends meet. Floats from every state proudly showcase “unity in diversity,” but let’s be honest—that unity disappears faster than free Wi-Fi when someone from a different state dares to settle down. Suddenly, “diversity” becomes a crime. Why not let Bengaluru’s auto drivers start mandatory Kannada classes for Hindi speakers? And let’s not forget a few states that act like they’re India’s VIP section. Of course, politicians can swoop in to fan the flames of this North-South divide—after all, it’s an excellent election strategy! Throw in a few insults too: head south and call northern states “uneducated” and “uncivilized,” and watch the votes pile up. Bravo! What’s wrong with that? 

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There’s no article or clause in the Constitution that says we should learn from the past—because why bother, right? Mistakes from history, let alone those of others, are just for textbooks. Why should the East-West Pakistan language tussle and the birth of Bangladesh teach us anything? And of course, calling Bihar a BIMARU state is fine, especially after draining its resources for four decades. Oh, and Mr. Gandhi? Clearly, he missed the memo on the Freight Equalization Policy, thoughtfully introduced in 1952 by his great-grandfather, Pt. Nehru’s government. But hey, ignorance is bliss!  

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Past is past, but now let’s celebrate the annual festival of digital patriotism, where social media is flooded with posts about “pride in our nation.” Of course, this comes with some fine print: no accountability, zero civic sense, and absolutely no action required. Why bother picking up trash when you can post a tricolor filter on Instagram? And why verify that shady WhatsApp forward when it feels so right? Sure, it’s fake, but it fits my beliefs—so who cares, right?

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And so, as we wrap up another Republic Day, let’s take a moment to applaud ourselves—not for upholding the ideals of the Constitution, but for mastering the art of selective patriotism. Whether it’s our Instagram stories, parade claps, or WhatsApp wisdom, we know how to look the part without playing it. The tricolor may fly high today, but tomorrow, it’s back to business as usual—cutting queues, dodging taxes, and arguing about which state is the worst. After all, nothing says “unity” quite like blaming everyone else for the chaos we collectively create. Happy Republic Day! Let’s do it all again next year.

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If you enjoy exploring India’s complex realities with a dash of wit and thought-provoking analysis, check out my book, The Seven I’s of Modi’s India: Through the eyes of an NRI. Please get a copy here. It dives deep into India’s journey from 2014 to 2024, dissecting infrastructure, innovation, ideology, and more—all through the lens of a curious observer.